A guy goes to the Doctor.
Guy - Doctor, I think I broke my arm in three places...
Doctor - Well, don't go to those places!

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A Cute Nurse came for the interview...
Doctor - What salary do you expect?
Nurse - Rs.10,000. only
Doctor was overjoyed & said - My Pleasure.
Nurse - With Pleasure its 25,000.

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Dentist - Don’t worry, it will take me only 1 minute to pull your tooth out.
Patient - And how much will it cost me?
Doctor - 100$.
Patient - For a 1 minute job?
Doctor - If you prefer, I can be pulling it out for one hour...

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Patient - Doctor sahab, apko yakeen hai ki mujhe Nimonia (pneumonia) hai,
kyunki picchle dino ek doctor mere friend ka Namoonia ka ilaaj karta raha aur woh Tyfied se mar gaya...
Doctor - Yes! Mujhe pura yakeen hai ki tu nimonia se hi marega...

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The doctor told a patient that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days,
He would loose 34 kilos.
After 300 days, the patient called the doctor to report he had lost weight, but he had a problem.
Doctor - 'What is the problem?'
Patient - 'I am 2400 kms. away from home...

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Patient - Na khaauu, to bhook lagti hai. Na souu, to Neend aati hai. Zyada kaam karu, to thakawat hoti hai.
Doctor - Sari Raat Dhoop main baitho, Theek ho jaoge.

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Patient - Doctor Sahab, main jab baat karta hu to mujhe sirf awaaz sunaai deti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta.
Doctor - Aisa kab hota hai?
Patient - Phone karte waqt...

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Sharabi to Doctor - Kya aap meri sharab chhudwa sakte ho?
Doctor - Yes, kyun nahi.
Sharabi - To police headquaters main meri 4 bottle padi hai. Please chhudwa do...

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Doctor - You should take at least 10 glasses of water everyday.
Patient - It is impossible.
Doctor - Why?
Patient - I have only 4 glasses at home.....

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Lady Patient - Doctor! Please call my husband inside.
Doctor - Trust me, I'm a Gentleman.
Lady - No Doctor, Your Nurse is sitting outside & my husband is not a Gentleman...