Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Watch Sultan Movie 2016 Trailer – Salman Khan and Anushka Sharma

Sultan Movie 2016 official trailer releases on May 24, 2016 by YRF.
Watch Sultan Movie Official Trailer online

CBSE 10th Result 2016 to be Declared on 27th or 28th May

Good news for all CBSE Board 10th Class students!!
CBSE Board 10th Result 2016 likely to be declared soon on Friday, 27th or 28th May 2016 (Expected). The results can be accessed on three websites- www.results.nic.in, www.cbseresults.nic.in and www.cbse.nic.in.

Friday, May 20, 2016

Tumhari Payari si Nazar Hindi Shayari

Tumhari Payari si Nazar Agar Idher Nahi Hoti,
Nashe Main Choor Fiza is Kadar Nahi Hoti,
Tumhare Aane Talak Humko Hosh Rahata Hai,
Fir Uske Baad Hame Kuch Khabar Nahi Hoti...

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Namotel Acche Din Phone for Rs 99

Dosto Be Careful Again!!
Another scam after Freedom 251?
Namotel Acche Din smartphone priced at Rs 99 claims to be world’s cheapest smartphone
Promoter Madhava Reddy has claimed that he is marketing the world’s cheapest smartphone, the Namotel Acche Din, for just Rs 99.

Namotel Mobile Features and Specifications:
4.0″ Inch HD Display Screen
Android Lollipop 5.1
2 Megapixel Rear Camera with Auto Focus
0.3 Megapixel Front Facing Camera
1.3 GHz Quad Core Processor
1 GB RAM
4 GB ROM
3G, 2G, EDGE, GPRS Connectivity
Dual SIM Dual Standby
1325 mAh Battery

Sunday, May 15, 2016

Ek Baniya Aur Uski Dukan Par Chutkula

Ek Baniya Aakhri Saans le raha tha, aur bola
Meri Biwi kaha hai?
Biwi - main yahi hu
Baniya - Meri Beti kaha hai
Beti - Main yahi hu
Baniya - Mera Beta kaha hai
Beta - main yahi hu
Baniya - Saloo, sab ke sab yahi ho to Dukaan par kaun hai

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

New Whatsapp Chutkule in Hindi Language

अजीब उलझन है गालिब!
वो कहती है, पीना छोडो तुम्हें मेरी कसम,
-
दोस्त कहते हैं पीना पडेगा साले तूझे भाभी जी की कसम!

**********

बिल्ली के रास्ता काटने पर कुछ लोग ऐसे रुक जाते हैं
.
.
.
जैसे होटल ताज का ही सौदा करने जा रहे हों !!!!

**********

बस स्टैंड पर एक लड़की खड़ी थी. उसके सामने से मोटरसाइकिल पर एक लड़का निकला. वह लड़का थोड़ा आगे जाकर वापिस लौटा और
लड़की से पूछा- पहचाना?
-
-
लड़की- नहीं तो
लड़का- अरे! अभी तो तेरे सामने से निकला था

**********

टीचर-- एक टोकरी में 10 आम थे
3 सड़ गए तो कितने आम रहे।
छात्र-- 10
टीचर-- वह कैसे?
छात्र-- जो सड़ गए वो भी तो आम ही रहेंगे। सड़ने से केले थोड़ी बन जायेंगे।
वह छात्र आज वकील है

**********

एक बच्चा अपनी माँ से बुरी तरह पिटने के बाद, अपने पापा से पूछा
आप कभी पाकिस्तान गए हो ?
पापा : नहीं बेटा .....
बेटा: कभी अफगानिस्तान गए हो ?
पापा : नहीं बेटा.
.
.
.
.
.
बेटा : तो फिर यह आतंकवादी आइटम
कहाँ से लाये ?????

******Read More Whatsapp Chutkule******

Sunday, May 1, 2016

Bipasha Basu, Karan Singh Grover's wedding reception

Bipasha Basu, Karan Singh Grover's wedding reception: Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, Salman Khan, Shah Rukh Khan, Preity Zinta are guests. Karan Singh Grover and Bipasha Basu are now officially married...
Bipasha Basu, Karan Singh Grover's wedding reception
Read more

Saturday, April 30, 2016

Hello Main Arvind Kajriwal Bol Raha Hu

Hello Main Aravind Kajriwal bol raha hu...
-
-
Are tu to bol hi mat NASPITE!
Tere hi Karan Beti ko Dahej main
Ab 2-2 CAR deni pad rahi hai...

Thursday, March 24, 2016

Rohit Ki Suhagrat Ka Kissa

Kissa Rohit Ki Suhagrat Ka
Rohit Ki Shadi Hui, Aur Patni Ke Sath Acchhe Se Suhagrat Mana Ke So Gaya.
Next Day Morning Main Apni Patni Se Pucha - "Janu Raat Ko Kuch Maja Aaya?"
To Patni Ne Ulta Usi Se Puch Liya - Aap Ko Aaya Kya?
Wo Khush Hote Hue Aur Patni Ke Mathe Ko Chumm Kar Bola,
Rohit - "Haan Jaan, Sach Main Bahut Maja Aaya"
Patni Bhi Khushi Se Boli - "Dekho Ji, Hamne Bhi Aaj Tak Kisi Ko Sikayat Ka Mokka Nahi Diya Hai"

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Happy Holi

Happy Holi to All of You!
Happy Holi 2016, Holi Festival images

Saturday, March 19, 2016

Ajeeb Uljhan hai Gaalib

Ajeeb Uljhan hai Gaalib,
wo kahti hai, Peena Chodo Tumko
Meri KASAM,
Dost kahate hai... Peena padega Sale Tujhe
Bhabhi Ji ki KASAM!

Thursday, March 17, 2016

Bura na mano Holi hai

Holi ke chutkule, Holi jokes, Holi SMS, Holi Shayari, Holi Message, Happy Holi 2016

Aapne dil ka haal batana chod diya,
Humne bhi Gehraai main jaana chod diya.
ye kya?
Holi se pehle hi aapne Nahana chod diya?
Happy HOLI

********

Arz kiya hai
sir main dard ho to kha lo sirdard ki goli
wah wah
sir me dard ho to kha lo sirdard ki goli
Mubarak ho apko
Happy Holi - Happy Holi

********

Holi par rang barse
or
Aap ke uper apno ka
pyar barse,
Rab se yahi duaa hai hamari
Aap khushi ke liye nahi, khushi aap
ke liye tarse... Wish u happy holi.

********

Daru ki khushbu, Gutkke ki mithas, Ganje ki roti or charas ka saag,
bhaang kee pakode or wills ka payar, mubarak ho aapko Nashediyo ka tyohar HAPPY HOLI in advance.

********

Meanwhile somewhere in China,
a gentleman by the name of 'Ho Li' is still confused why billions of Indians want him to be Happy.

********

Aaj Barish Mein Tere Sang Nahana Hai,
Sapna Ye Mera Kitna Suhana Hai,
Barish Ki Boondein Gire Tere Honthon Pe,
Unhe Apne Honthon Se Uthana Hai!
Happy Holi!

********

Lal, Gulabi, Neela, Pila Haathon Mein Liya Samet, Holi Ke Din Rangenge Sajni, Kar Ke Meethi Bhent. Happy Holi!

********

H: Happy Holi which is
O: Over-joyous and full of
L: Love and
I: Intimacy!

********

Hawa ke Hath Paigam Bheja Hai,
Roshani ke Jariye Ek Arman Bheja Hai,
Fursat Mile To Kabul Kar Lena Is Nachiz Ne,
Rango ke Tyohar ka pyar bheja hai.

********

Rango Mein Ghuli Ladki Kya Laal Gulabhi Hai,
Jo Dekhta Hai Kehta Hai Kya Maal Gulabhi Hai,
Pichle Baras Jo Tune Bhigiya Tha Holi Mein,
Ab Tak Nishani Ka Wo Rumal Gulabhi Hai.
Happy Holi

********

Buraa Naa Maano, Holi Hai

Saturday, March 12, 2016

Aakhri sawal 1 Crore ka

Amitabh - Ab Aakhri sawal
1 Crore ka
What is Your Fathers name?
Pappu - Hasne laga.
Amitabh - Has kyon rahe ho.?
Pappu - Are Bhai option to do..

Thursday, March 10, 2016

Ek bar 2 प्रेमी Pahad chadhne ke liye jate hain

Ek bar 2 प्रेमी Pahad chadhne ke liye jate hain
Chadhte-Chadhte bahut raat ho jati hai, to dono SO jate hain, aur dono apne beech main ek तकिया rakh lete hain... taki kuch ho na jae
Subha hoti hai प्रेमी अपनी प्रेमिका से कहता है ki chalo ab sriff 2 ghante main pahad chadhna hai
प्रेमिका कहती है
kya khak पहाड़ चढें…Raat bhar main ek Takiya to paar kar nahi sake… पहाड़ क्या खाक चढ़ोगे!

Saturday, March 5, 2016

Jaat ki Hoshyari

Ek baar ek Jat ne Ek Medak(frog) se Pucha
kya Jaatto main Dimag hota hai?
Medak bola - nahi, aur paani Main Kood Gaya
Aur jaat pura din sochta raha ki isme sucide karne wali kya baat thi...

********

Once Jaat got an SMS from his Girl Friend - "I Miss You"
Jat ne bahut soch kar 2 ghante baad reply kya,
"I Mr. You"

********

Jaat (Police Station ja kar bola) - Mujhe phone par Dhamki Mil rahi hai,
Inspector - Kaun de raha hai?
Jat - BSNL wale! kahte hain : agar bill nahi bhara to KAAT denge.

Friday, March 4, 2016

Bhai Ladkiya bahut tej hain aajkal

Sabse Latest aur ekdum FAADU Joke
Ek Ladke ke Proposal ko Ladki ne thukra diya
To Ladka ne bola
Jitna Dimaag tujhme hai, Utna Dimag to mera Kharab rahta hai...
Ladki ne bahut hi Khubsurat reply kiya,
"Abe ChuutiYe" jitna tujhme KHOON hai na, Utna to har mahine PERIODS main nikal deti hu...
Bhai Ladkiya bahut tej hain aajkal

Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Freedom 251 Mobile

Ladka to Ladki on Freedom 251 Mobile
Aukat ki baat mat kar pagli
Jitne ka tera Mobile hai na,
Utne ki to main roj BEAR pi jata hu

********

251 main mobile ki apaar kamyabi ke baad
Jaldi hi 351 main Freeze, 451 ki BIKE,
551 ki CAR aur 1151 main MAKAN milne ki sambhavna bad gayi hai,
Lagta hai Achhe din aane wale hain

********

Purani Kahawat - Char Aane ki Murgi Aath Aane ka Masala
Nai Kahawat - 250 ka Mobile aur 300 ka Richarge"

Saturday, February 27, 2016

Pati Aur Patni Ke Majedar Chutkule

Pati Aur Patni ke Majedar Hindi Chutkule Jokes

Pati ka GOA Tour - Hindi Chutkule

Patni - Tum Goa ja rahe ho to mujhe sath kyu nahi le jate,
Pati - Are Pagli, koi Hotel jata hai to TiFFin sath le jata hai kya?

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Mammi aur Uncle ka Pyaar

Bachha - Mammi Papa ne Naukrani ke sath...
Maa - bas beta tumhare papa aae to unke samne mujhe batana, main aaj dekh lungi Unko...
Saam ko jab Bacche ke Papa aae to
Maa - Han beta Aap morning main kya bol rahe the,
Bachha - wo na papa naukrani ke sath wahi kar rahe the jo Upar wale Uncle App ke sath karte hain.
Maa Behosh

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चुड़ैल भी औरत ही होती है: Husband Wife Hindi Chutkule

Ek Chudaal ne Sadi Suda jode se kaha, Main tum dono ki 1-1 wish puri kar sakti hu
Biwi - Mian apne pati ke sath puri duniya ki visit karna chahti hu
Chudel ne Charkhi ghumai aur 2 tickets aa gai,
fir pati se pucha ki tum kya chahte ho
Pati - Mujhe apne se 30 year choti patni chahiye
Chudeel ne charkhi ghumai aur pati ko 90 years ka bana diya
Morel : Aadmi ko yaad rakhna chahiye kiChudeel bhi Aurat hoti hai

*********

संता ऑफिस से वापस आया, संता- कहाँ हो जानू?
बीवी मूवी देख रही थी,
संता की बीवी- बाहुबली बड़ी अच्छी है देख लो, संता मोबाइल लेकर गैलरी से बाहर जाने लगा,
बीवी- कमीने मैंने बोला बाहुबली, बाजूवाली नहीं

*********

Patni Ne Apne Pati Se Pucha - Agar Ye Duniya 20 Minutes Mein Khatam Hone Wali Ho To Tum Sabse Pehle Kya Karnaa Chahogee?
Pati - Yar Simple Si Baat Hai, Main Sex Karna Chahungaa
Patni - To Fir Baki Ke 19 Minutes Kya Karoge?

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More Naye Pati Patni Chutkule Jokes Collection

Saturday, February 20, 2016

JAAT baithe sadako par

JAT baithe Sadako par
Police baithi thane main
Bhul ke bhi Mat Bad Jaiyoo
Iss Bakhat Hariyane main

Saturday, February 6, 2016

Ye Chutkula banane wale ko 21 Topon ki Salami

Ye Chutkula banane wale ko 21 Topon ki Salami!!

Pappu - Doctor sahab dastt(loose motion) ne behal kar rakha hai
Doctor - kitna Patla aata hai
Pappu - Samajh lo ki aap uusse KuLLa kar sakte ho.

Saturday, January 30, 2016

Beautiful Poem by Gulzar

Ae Ummr! kuch kaha mane, Par sayad tune suna nahi...
Tu cheen sakti hai bachpan mera, Par Bachpana nahi,
Har baat ka koi jawab nahi hota, Har Ishq ka naam Kharab nahi hota...
Yu to Jhoom lete hai nashe main peene wale magar Har Nashe ka naam Sarab nahi hota,

Khamosh chehre par hazaro pahare hote hain, Hansti aankho main bhi Zakhm Gahare hote hai
Jinse aksar rooth jate hai hum, Asal main unse hi rishte gahare hote hai...

Kisi ne Khuda se dua maangi aur dua main apni Maut mangi, Khuda ne kaha,
Maut to tujhe de du magar, Use kya kahu jisne teri Zindgi ki Dua maangi...

Har Insaan ka dil bura nahi hota, Har ek insaan bura nahi hota,
Bujh jate hai Diye kabhi Tel ki kami se, Har bar Kasoor Hawa ka nahi hota!!

Saturday, January 23, 2016

Rohit ki Double Meaning Baat

Ek Din Rohit Ne apna Underwear Dho Ke Padosan Ki Salwar Ke Pass Sukhne Dal Di
Aur padosan ko Aawaz Di - Bhabhi Jab Tum Apni Salwar Utaro Mujhe Bhi Awaz De Dena. Main Bhi Underwear Utaar Lunga.

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Ek din Rohit Apni Biwi Ke Sath Train Me Safar Kar Raha Tha
Raat ko Biwi Boli - Suno ji, Ye Admi Mere Blouse Main Hath Dal Raha Hai..
Rohit - Oye Tu Fikar Na Kar Paise Meri Jeb Main Hai.

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Sachin Tichkule ke Chutkule

Sachin Tichkule nayi nayi English Sikh raha tha
Sachin Tichkule - please apple my new number.
Bholu - confused and ask.. what??
Sachin Tichkule - mera number apple karlo na jaldi se..
Bholu - are par apple to seb hota hai.
Sachin Tichkule - Main bhi to yahi keh
Raha hu ki mera number phone main seb
karlo.
Bholu - behosh.

Zindgi tab Narak si ho jati hai

Zindgi tab Narak si ho jati hai,
Jab aap Bus ki window seat par baithe ho.. aur aapke baju wala har 5 minute main Aapki Chati par chad ke
Gutkha bahar thook raha ho.

Sunday, December 6, 2015

Araz Kiya Hai Sahab

Araz kiya hai.
Hamne Patai ek ladki to socha hamari LOTERY nikal gayi,
Date pe bulaya milne ko to, haay re futti Kismat,
WO Rakhi Bandh ke Chali gayi.

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Joke of the day on Teacher Student

Teacher - Agar koi school ke samne Bomb rakhta hai to tum kya karoge?
Student - 1-2 ghante dekhnge, Agar koi le jata hai to thik hai...
Nahi to Staff room main rakh denge

Sunday, October 25, 2015

Pappu in Plane

Ek bar Pappu first time Plane main Baitha
Jase hi Plane ka agla Tyre uthne laga
To Pappu ne Pilot se kaha..
Sala main pahale se hi dara hua hu aur tu stunt maar raha hai.

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Ultimate Funny Images

funny budhiya image
re.. Tai na ruk ri - Very Funny image

funny pictures
kya baat hai - Very Funny picture
More Funny photos of Crazy Peoples

Ek Naai ki Bhabhi Ji se Double Meaning baat

Ek Naai Ki Dukaan Ke Upar Ghar Tha.
Ek Din Ghar Ki Ek Aurat Ne Bahar Ki Taraf Apni Sadi Sukhane Ke Liye Dali.
Sadi Se Dukan Mein Andhera Ho Gaya To Naai Ne Jor Se Awaaz Lagayi...
Naai bola - Bhabhi Ji, Apni Sadi Uper Utha Lo Main Baal Kaat raha hu.

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Bechari Indian Bhabhi ji

Bechari Indian Bhabhi ji
Dhobhi - Are Bhabhi ji, kapde nikaal kar rakkho, main thodi der mein aata hun..
Fruit wala - Bhabhi ji, Keley ka size to dekiye, jee khush ho jayega...
Paper wala - Bhabhi ji, kal aap so rahi thi, so apko disturb kiye bina nichey se daal diya tha..
Xerox wala - Bhabhi ji, Aagey-piche dono side se karna hai, ya fir ek side se..?
Auto wala - Bhabhi ji, andar chhodun ya bahar hi chhod doon...
Bank wala - Bhabhi ji, So So ke doon, chalega kya..?
Finally innocent Lift Man - Bhabhi ji, konsa Dabaaun

Monday, October 5, 2015

Ragging wala Joke

Ek Collage main Ragging ke waqt ladko ne
ek ladki se pucha,
Ek – sawal ka jawab Do...
Sawal - Patna kahan hai ?
Ladki – Bihar main.
Boys – yahi pat jao yar itni dur jaane ki kya zarurat hai

Sunday, October 4, 2015

Pappu Samunder Ke Kinare Leta Hua Tha Ki

Pappu Samunder Ke Kinare leta Dhoop le raha tha.
Ek American - Are you relaxing?
Pappu - no dear, i am pappu
thodi der baad ek dusra american waha se gujra aur pucha
Are you relaxing?
Pappu chillakar - Kamine, i am Pappu
fir pappu uthkar waha se doosri taraf chala gaya jaha ek
american ladki leti hui thi,
Pappu ne pucha - are you relaxing?
American ladki - yes i am... relaxing
Pappu ne use tamacha mara aur bola - yaha padi hui hai
aur tere ghar wale tujhe waha khoj rahe hain
.

Saturday, October 3, 2015

Aaj kal ka Gajab Fashion

Mom - Are Beta tum apne baal kyun nahi katwate?
Son - Tum samajhti nahi ho Maa, Ye fashion hai
Mom - Are idiot...! Ladke wale teri behan ko dekhne ke liye aaye the aur tujhe pasand kar gaye hain

Friday, October 2, 2015

Naari Samman Sewa on Facebook

Chantu - What do you do...?
Bantu - Naari Samman sewa ke liye kaam karta hun.
Chantu - Achcha to social worker ho
Bantu - Nahi yar, Facebook par ladkiyon ki photo like karta hoon.

Saturday, September 26, 2015

Yar Lagte to Tum Nepali Ho

Ek Pagal Ek Nepali Se Puchta hai - Tum American Ho?
Nepali - Nahi Main Nepal Ka Hu
Pagal - Nahi Tum American Ho
Nepali - Nahi Bhai Main Nepal Ka Hu
Pagal - Nahi Tum America ke Ho
Nepali(Gusse se) - Ha Me American hu
Pagal - yar Lagte To Tum Nepali Ho

Saturday, September 19, 2015

Aur Kaisi Rahi Suhagrat Part 2

Aur Kaisi Rahi Suhagraat - JOKES on SUHAGRAT
Jab Ladki ki Suhagrat ke baad uski Saheli Puchhti hai
Aur Kaisi rahi Suhagrat?
To Wo batati hai
Aaye the wo der se, Dil jala diya,
Pahale kiya Gate band, Phir Deepak Bhuja diya
Pahale khel khelne laga Seena Tatolkar,
Fir khel khelne laga Under-wear khol kar,
Ek Jang aisi chhidi Palang par,
Gole wali Toup rakh di Surang par,
Hontho par firayi Toup aur bola wo Itrakar,
Badi mast ice-cream hai darling, chus mann lagakar.
Sharmai mai bahut or samajh main kuch nahi aaya,
Khola muh or lagi chusne fir maza bada aaya,
Fir Usne top rakh di Surang par,
Dhakke pe dhakke mare usne andar daal kar,
Tez karta raha raftar wo meri cheekh-pukar par...
Iske baad uthaya aur ghodi mujhe banaya,
Daal ke danda galat jagah par Tanga khoob chalaya.
Fir se kiya mujhe sidha or tange meri uthayi,
Aise karke dono taraf se usne meri band bajayi,
Aaya jab aakhri time ahsaas gajab ka hua,
Us pal ke baad hardam yeh mann me aata hai,
Din-raat bas aisi hi suhagraat manane ko jee chahta
hai.
Tujhse bas yahi kahungi manale tu bhi Suhagraat,
Mat kar shadi ka intzaar,
Pakad le jo bhi mile kyunki
Ye jawani yeh waqt, aayenge na bar-bar

JAI Ho Baba Suhagraati...Antarvasna Kahani

Friday, September 11, 2015

Mazedaar Jokes Veg Non Veg Chutkule Collection

Girl Friend - Ye kya jaanu Condom nahi laye?
Boy Friend - "Darling Surprize" Aaj hum bina condom ke hi Karange
Girl Friend - Saale, Agar mane 9 mahinee baad Surprize diya to apni LOODEE Jaisi Shakal mat banana.
-
Continue Reading

Monday, August 31, 2015

Joke of the day - Tumhara Baap Al Habibi

Australia main rahkar padhne wale ek Saudi Arab ke Student ne apne Abba Jaan ko mail likha.
"Australia Bahut hi Sunder desh hai,
Aur utne hi sunder yaha ke log hain,
Lakin mujhe us time saram aati hai jab main 20 Tole ki Gold ki chain gale main dalkar apni Ferari se college jata hu...
Jabki sabhi log Train se college jate hain.
Apka beta Nasir.

Second day usko Abba jaan ka reply aaya
Beta ab tumko bhi Saram nahi aayegi, kuki maine tere a/c main 20 million dollar daal diye hain...
Jaoo tum bhi Train le lo"
Tumhara Baap - Al Habibi

Friday, August 28, 2015

Happy Raksha Bandhan Rakhi Festival

Happy Raksha Bandhan Festival, Best wishes for all !! Happy Raksha Bandhan Rakhi Festival

Saturday, August 22, 2015

Latest Poor jokes or Pjs

List of Deadly PJs and Best Pathetic Jokes, funny and Killer pj jokes - Poor Chutkule Jokes in Hindi
Shimla cleans Vimla's house
Vimla cleans Shimla's house
They are maid for each other

*********

If you are a girl named Khushi and you cry, people won't take it seriously as that would be
'Khushi ke aansoo'
*********

Cricket Team ke jab sab players out ho jate hai to sab Machaar bhaag jate hain
Sochoo kyu
KYUKI team "Allout" hain naa.

*********

Disco Bar mein kyu hai Dhamaal...??
Disco Bar mein kyu hai Dhamaal.....?
A.C.P bola - Daya, surakshit kaale mere baal, Vasmol ne kiya kamaal..

*********

Itne saal ho gaye Daya ki Koi Girlfriend nahi hai
Itne saal ho gaya Daya ki Koi Girlfriend nahi hai
A.C.P - Abhijeet pata lagao ye Daya kahin Gay to nahi hai

*********

Where do you find MANGOES? Mango tree? Fruit shop?
-NO-
Where ever WOMAN goes, Peeche-Peeche MAN-goes!

*********

Q - Who had a double role in movie 'Sholay'?
A - King George
He is on both sides of the coin

*********

A scientist disconnected his doorbell.
Why??
Because, he wanted to win the No-bell prize!

*********

One Sardar goes for an interview in a Detective Agency.
Interviewer - Who killed Gandhi?
Sardar - Thanks for my first assignment sir, I will start investigating!!

*********

After hike in petrol price, Santa was not worried at all.
When Banta asked him the reason, he said - "How does it matter? Earlier I was filling petrol for Rs.100 in my car,
now also I'll fill petrol for Rs.100 only !!"

*********

ek aadmi ki 6 ungliyan(6 fingers) hoti hain... sab log use "Hanuman" keh kar bulate hain. batao kyun???
Ans - kyounki uska naam hi hanuman hai!

*********

What would Dharmendra say to Hema Malini if he wants to tell her to
call him up...
-
RING De Basanti

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Sardar ji ka Long Password

Sardar's e-banking password was
"ram-sita-laxman-hanuman-ravan-delhi-kejriwal"
Banta - yar itna lamba password.
Sardar - Kya karu, Bank wale bolte hain ki Password main 5 Character aur 1 capital hona chahiye.
Banta - Wo sab thik hai par ye Kejri uncle kyu??
Sardar - Ek special character bhi hona Zroori hai...

Friday, July 17, 2015

ATM ki Samasya

ATM ki Samasya
Bhanja - Are Mama Aaj Gaon ka ATM band ky hai,
Mama - kya batauu Bhanje, tumhari Mami boli ki aaj main khud ATM se Paise Nikalungi...
Bhanja - ye to achhi baat hai na Mama
Mama - Yar us ATM ki Screen par jase hi likha aaya 'Enter your PIN' to teri Mami ne apne Baloon ka PIN fasa diya...

Saturday, June 6, 2015

Jannat Ke Parde 20-20 Rupaye Main

Ek Aadmi Market Mein Jor-Jor Se Chilla
Raha Tha - Jannat Ke Parde 20-20 Rupaye
Main, Jannat Ke Parde 20-20 Rupaye Main...
Sare Market Ke Log Apna-Apna Kaam
Chhod Kar Uske Paas aa gaye
Paas Jakar Dekha To, Haramkhor Bra Aur
Pantis Bech Raha Tha.

Monday, June 1, 2015

Ye Koi Aam Shampoo Nahi Hai

Santa shampoo ko Sar ke sath - sath kandho per bhi laga raha tha
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Wife ne pucha - Kandho per shmpu kyun laga rahe ho?
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Santa - Are Bewkoof ye koi aam shampu nahi hai
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Head & Shoulder hai.

Sunday, April 26, 2015

Ek Bhikari aur Khubsoorat Lady

Ek Bhikari Signal Pe Bhikh Mang Raha Tha,
Tabhi Ek Car Mein Se Ek Khubsoorat Lady Ne Use
Bhikh Di,
Bhikh Leke Bhikhari Aage Jane Laga, To Aurat Ne
Kaha.
Lady - Arey Kuch Dua To Do Mene Tumhe 10 Ruapye Ka Not Diya Hai?
Bhikhari - Car Main To Beithi Hai
Ab Kya Lode Pe Bethne Ki Dua Doon

Saturday, April 18, 2015

Hindustani Style se Paresan Call Girls

Ek bar America main international call girls ka bazar laga. waha sabhi country ki ek se badkar ek call girls aayi.
Ek Hindustani bhi waha gaya aur uska bhi waha sexx karne ka man kiya to usne sabse rate pucha
China wali boli - 2000 rs.
Hindustani - 4000 dunga par karunga Hindustani Style main
wo dar gayi, ki pata nai kya karega or usne mana kar diya
phir bangkok wali se rate pucha
wo boli - 5000 rs.
Hindustani - 10,000 dunga par karunga Hindustani Style main
par is dar se ki pata nai ye kase karega usne bhi mana kar diya
aur isi ki vajh se sabhi ne mana kar diya
phir last main America ki ladki se rate pucha usne kaha - 1 lac
Hindustani - 2 lac dunga par karunga Hindustani Style main
America wali ne socha ki hamne to sabhi style main sexx karwaya hai aaj isko bhi dekh lete hain aur
usne yes bol diya aur uske sath chali gayi.
Raat ko Hindustani ne usko khub ragad ke chooda
morning main jab wo wapas aayi to sab call girls ne usse Hindustani style ke bare main pucha ki usne kaise kiya...
Aakhir kya tha hindustani Style
America wali boli - Bahan ka Loda UDHAAR karke chala gaya.

Sunday, February 22, 2015

Naukrani aur Condom ka Confusion

Ek Naukrani Ko Ghar Ka Kaam Karte time Ek Condom Mila, Usko Samajh Nahi Aaya Ki Ye Kya Cheez Hai,
usne Socha ki Malkin ko Jake Puchti Hun, Shayad Unhe Pata Hoga ki ye Kya Cheez Hai
Naukrani - Bibi Ji, Ye Kya Cheez Hai?
Malkin Ne Hairan Ho kar Pucha - Tumhe Nahi Pata Kya, Tumhare Yaha Sexx Nahi Karte?
Naukrani ne Kuch Der Socha Phir Hairani Se Boli - "Haan Karte To Hai, Par Itna Bhi Nahi Ki LODE Ki Khaal Hi Utar Jaye"

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Ek 9 saal ke Ladke par rape ka aarope

Ek 9 saal ke Ladke par ek ladki Rape karne ka Aarope lagati hai,
Mukadma Adalat main chala jata hai,
Ladke ki Vakil uski tunni ko pakadkar - Jajj saab kya iski Tunni ko dekhkar apko lagta hai ki ye ladka rape kar sakta hai,
Ladka - Vakil sahiba aap isko jayada mat hilaoo nahi to hum ye 'CASE HAAR JAYENGE'

Thursday, December 25, 2014

Wishing You Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year 2015

Dear all, Wish You and Your Family a very Happy New Year 2015. May this year bring new Happiness, New Goals, New Achievements and a lot of New Inspirations in your Life.

Happy New Year 2015

Naya Savera Nayi Kiran Ke Sath
Naya Din Ek Pyari Si Muskaaan Ke Sath
Aapko Naya Saal Mubarak Ho Dher Sari Duaon Ke Sath
Happy New Year 2015

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Bhul jao beete hue kal ko
Dil main basa lo aane wale kal ko
Muskraoo chahe jo bhi ho pal
Khusiyan lekar aayega aane wala kal
Happy New Year 2015

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Is Naye Saaal main,
Jo tu chahe wo tera ho,
Har din khubsoorat aur ratain roshan ho,
Kamiyabi chuumte rahe tere kadam hamesha yaar,
Naya Saal Mubarak ho tuje mere Yaar.

Friday, November 21, 2014

Aaj ke Masaledar Chutkule

Seexx Ke Waqt Ladki Apni Tange Faila Ke apne Boyfriend Se Puchti Hai...
Ladki - "Yar Hamare Bachhe Ka Naam Kya Hoga?"
Ladka Condom Pahan Ke Bola - "Agar Iske Baad Bhi kuch Ho Gaya To uska name JAADOO Rakhenge"

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Bachhe ne apni Mom ki Breast dekhi aur pucha..
Child - Mom Ye Kya Hai?
Mom - Ye Gubbare Hai
Child - Fir Mousi Ke Chote Kyun hai?
Mom - wo Tune Kab Dekhe?
Child - Jab Papa Unme Hawa Bhar Rahe The tab...

Monday, October 27, 2014

Suhagraat Aur Raat Main Farq

Savita - Yar Raat Aur Suhagrat Main Kya Fark hota Hai?
Kavita - Suhagrat Main Hum Sirf Pati Ke Sath hi So Sakte Hain aur Jab Ki Raat Main Aisa Koi Niyam Nahi Hota.

Saturday, October 4, 2014

College Main Madam Question puchti hai

College Main Madam Question puchti hai...
Madam - "Lakir ka Fakir" Muhavare ka udhahran bataoo
Ek ladka - Mam Aap Bura to Nahi Manegi?
Madam - Nahi Bura Qu?
Ladka - Aapki Panty ke andar
jo Lakir hai
Hum Uske fakir hai..

Friday, September 12, 2014

Bechara Pati ab kya kare

Bechara Pati ab kya kare
Pati ne patni ko surprise dene ke liye apne niche ke baal katvaye aur chupke se so gaya.
Neend main patni ne niche haath fera to boli : devarji aap kab aaye?

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Ultimate Whatsapp Jokes aur Chutkule

Ek bande Ne Ek Function Orgnize Kiya..
Usne Dekha Ki Invitation Se Zyada Log Aaye Hai..
Wo Stage Par Gaya Aur Bola..
Jo Jo Ladki Walon Ki Taraf Se Wo Idher Ek side Me Aa Jaye..
10-15 log Aa Gye Ek Taraf...
Phir usne Bola Ki Jo Ladke Walon Ki Taraf Se Hain Wo Bhi Udher Aa jaye.
10-15 Log Phir Aa Gye...
Ab usne Ek Danda Le Ke Un Sab ko (ladki wale plus ladke wale) ko bhagaya
aur kaha Kamino Ye Sharma ji ki retirement Party hai....

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Wife Pati Ko Maar Rahi Thi.
Padosi - Kyu Maar Rahi Ho is Bechare Pati Ko??
Patni - Koi Bechara Nahi Hai, Inko Call Kiya To Ek Ladki Boli,
"Aap Hamare Jis Grahak Se Sampark Karna Chahate Ho, Wo Abhi Vyast Hai !!!

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Sadi ke 12 saal baad bhi agar biwi aap par sak kare to naraj mat hona...
balki socho aap aaj bhi itne fit, handsome, smart aur kabil hain ki kisi ko bhi pata sakte hain.

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10 saal ka Chota bunty..
Sheela bhabi aur ek ladke Ko Sex Karte Huwe Dekh Leta Hai..
Bunty - "Mujhe Bhi Karne Do...Warna aap ke husband Ko Bata Dunga..!"
Sheela bhabi - thik hai aa jao tum bhi Kar Lo..
Bunty Kaafi Try Karta Hai Par Uska Khada Hi Nahi Hota..
Bunty (Chaddi Pahente Huwe) - "Duniyadari Ki Maa Ka Bhhosda...
Jo Galat Hai Wo Galat Hai...Main to Bataaunga...

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American Ki Soch – Hum Chaand Par To Paunch Gaye, Ab Next Kya Karna Hai?
Chinese Ki Soch – Hum 90% Duniya Ki Market Pe Raj Kar Rahe Hain, Ab Baki Par Kaise Karein?
Aur Indian Ki Soch - Aaj 12 Baje Light Gayi To 2 Baje Aayi Thi, Uske baad 4 Baje Gayi To 6 Baje Aayi,
To Iska Matlab Hai Ke Ab 8 Baje Jayegi. Ooooooye..“Fata Fat Motor Chala Ke Paani Bhar Lo.

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Ek jungle main male janwar female janwar ko 24 ghante chhodte rahte the!
Saari female mil ke Bhagwan ke paas gai
or vardan manga ki kam se kam 1 mahiney ke liye chudaaii se mukti mile!
Bhagwan ne SAB male janwaron ke laudey kaat ke unko coupon de diye
or bole ki 1 mahiney ke baad coupon lana or apna londaa le jana!
Sham ke time 1 Bandar ped par baitha tha.
Bandriya ne usey chedtey hue kaha
Chhod saale, bhenchhod! Ab chhod na mujhe???
Bandar kuch ni bola??
Bandriya phir boli "Chhod na Bhadve, chhod na behen ke lauude"??
Bandar ne ek choti si smile di
or bola: "1 mahina ruk ja! Bhen ki Laaudi. Teri Maa Chhodd dunga.
Maine Ghode ka coupon chura liya hai..?? ??

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Teacher - why are you laughing alone.
Tell us the joke so that whole class can laugh.
Student - Sir ye aapko lodu bol rahaa hai??

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A couple went to a Saxx Therapist office at a BIG Corporate Hospital.
The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"
The man said, "Will you watch us having saxx, for your expert analysis?
The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.
When the couple finished, the doctor said,
"There's nothing wrong with the way you have, "and charged them Rs.1300.
This happened several weeks in a row.
The couple would make an appointment, have everything with no problems, pay the doctor and then leave.
Finally the doctor asked, "exactly what are you trying to find out?
"The man said, "We're not trying to find out anything.
She's married and we can't go to her house I'm married and we can't go to my house.
The Oberoi charges Rs. 15000,
Taj charges Rs. 14000,
Le Meridian charges Rs.12500.
We do it here for Rs.1300,
Punch line is yet to come.....
And I get that 1300, back from MediClaim.

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Height of prank call??????
Hello pooja hai...???
Nahi...????
To karvalo... Jai Mata Di !!!!??????

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Height of irritating someone:
Boy - pen hai??
Girl - nahi..
Thodi der baad..
Boy - pen hai??
Girl - nahi hai bola na..
Boy - pen hai pen ??
Girl - nahi hai kaminey, aur abki bar pucha to hathode se sar phod dungi
Kuch der baad...
Boy - hathoda hai kya..???
Girl - nahi..
Boy - accha.. to phir pen hai pen..???..????

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A guy calls an unknown number..
Guy - Fridge hai?
Reply - Haan hai.
Guy - Chalta hai?
Reply - Haan chalta hai..
Guy - To pakad ke rakhna, warna bhaag jaayega..
And he hangs up.. After a while, he calls up again..
Guy - Fridge hai?
This time the person's really angry.
Reply - Nahi hai.
Guy - Kahaan se hoga..
Bola tha na pakad ke rakhna varna bhaag jaayega..????

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Heart melting love story:
Boy - I can't marry u.
My family is totally against it.
Girl - Who are they 2 stop u?
Boy: My wife & 2 kids...

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Doctor - Kaise aana hua?
Patient - Doctor saab tabiyat theek nahi hain
Doctor - Sharab peete ho?
Patient - Peeta to hoon, par chhota peg hi banana. I'm not feeling well !??

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One more Height of prank call.
Hello Popatlal hai?
Nahi....
Hang up After some time again????
Hello Popatlal hai???
Bola na nahi hai....
Hang up And again????
Hello Popatlal hai???
Nahi hai mere baap....
Hang up And one more time????
Hello Popatlal hai???
haan hai bol, kya chahiye??
chal hat,.....jhut mat bol, .......Popat green hota hai..Lal nahi....

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Ek bar ek udas Bandar marne ko gaya.
To jate jate usne sote hue Sher ki Gand main ungli dal di.
Sher utha aur gusse se dahada - "kisne kiya ye..
Kisne apni maut bulayi hai.
Bandar bola - "Main hu maharaaj.
Sher ne pucha - "ye krte hue tumhe kisi ne dekha.?
Bandar - "Nahi, Maharaj.
Sher - ok, To ek bar aur karo aacha lagta hai.

Moral - Akele Reh-Reh Kar Jungle Ka Raja Bhi Gandu Ho Jaata Hai, So Keep In Touch With Friends...

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man was watching a DVD at home..
and jor jor se cheekhne laga.....?Nooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!?
Ghode par se mat utar..
Pagal mat utar.. Its a trap!! Its a trap!!
Kutte ki maut Marega? saale..
Wife - Kya dekh rahe ho??
Man - Our wedding DVD!!

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Girl - dotted condom dijiye.
Dukanwale ne diya...
Girl - isse jyada dotted chahiye.
Duknwale ne diya...
Girl - isse jyada dotted condom ho to dijiye...
Dukanwala - Bhutta use kijiye madam Bhutta !!! Season bhi hai...

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Santa - Jaanu, tu mujhe din main Sardarji keh ke bulati hai
aur Raat ko sex ke time Gyani ji
Aisa Q?
Wife - Bewakuf Raat ko Gyani ji nahi ‘GAYA-NAHI-JI’ Kehti hu

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to be continue



Leave your Jokes in comment box to get live on the blog

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Santa ko Tharak chadi aur Nano Book kar aaya

Santa ko Tharak chadi to KOTHE par gaya
KOTHE par ladkiyo ki quality ke basis par name rakhe the
Accord - 10000
Civic - 9000
Verna - 8000
Swift - 3000
i10 - 1000
Nano - 500
Santa ko kam paise main kaam chalana tha isliye Nano book karke room main pahunch gaya
Room main kuch der baad 1 HIZZdE ko bheja gaya
Santa - oye teri... ye kya Bkchodi hai, Maal kaha hai Maal
KOTHE ki Malkin - oye sardar ji Nano ka Engion Peeche hi hota hai...

More Santa Jokes Chutkule SMS - Santa Banta Comedy Jokes in Hindi

Saturday, May 17, 2014

Pati raat ko Khana kha raha tha

Pati raat ko Khana kha raha tha...
Pati - Ye daal main Baal ka guchha kyu hai
Patni - Wo mere neeche ke Baal hain ji,
Pati - madarchhodd yeh tune kya kiya..
Patni - Ji AAP hi to rozana kehte ho ki khane main jhaat bhar ka swaad nahi... Isliye aaj daal diye...

Pati aur Patni Jokes

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Sarabi Aadmi ke Dumdar Chutkule

Pappu - Agar Gadhe ko Sarab aur pani dono pine ko diya jae to Gadha kya piyega
Sarabi - Zahir hai Pani hi piyega
Pappu - kyu?
Sarabi - kyoki wo Gadha hai...

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Ek Sarabi Hotel main jata hai aur puchta hai
Garam kya hai ?
Vaiter - Chaumin
Sarabi - Aur Garam
Vaiter - Soop
Sarabi - Aur Garam
Vaiter -Garam Pani
Sarabi - Aur Garam
Vaiter - AAG ka Gola hai Sale...
Sarabi - Laker aao... bidi jalani hai

Friday, April 18, 2014

Amir Tau ki Hakikat

Ek Tau hospital main Aakhiri Saanse gin raha tha uski faimly aur 1 nurse uske bistar ke pass khade the,
Tau apne bade bete se bola, beta tum mere TDI City wale 15 Bangle le lo,
Beti se kaha : Tu Sonipat sec 14 ke Bangle le le,
Chote bete se kaha, beta tu sabse chota hai, aur mujhe sabse payara bhi, tujhe main rohini Sec 24 pocket 13 ki 20 Dukaan deta hu,
aur last main Tau apni patni se bola, mere baad tumhe paiso ke liye kisi ka muh na takna pade isliye mere unity wale 12 flat tum apne pass rakh lo,
Pass main khadi Nurse, jo ye sab sun rahi thi, bahut impress hui aur boli "Aap bahut lucky hain ki apko itne Amir pati mile jo itni sari Jaydad dekar ja rahe hain,
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Patni : are Kaun Amir? kaisi Jaydad? are ye to DUDHIYA hai ham sabko Jimmedariya baant raha hai subah - subha Doodh pahuchane ki...

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Pappu aur Pathan ke chutkule

Pathan - wo jo Table par Aadmi baitha hai uss se hamara Dusmani hai...
Pappu - Table par to 4 Aadmi hain
Pathan - wo jiski Moochh hai,
Pappu - Moochh to sabhi ki hain...
Pathan - wo jiske white kapde hain
Pappu - wo to sabhi ke hi white hain...
Pathan ne gusse se pistol nikala aur 3 ko goli maar di aur jo bach gaya uski taraf isaara kar ke bola, iss se hamara Dusmani hai... isko hum nahi chodega.

Friday, March 21, 2014

Ladki ka April Fool banaya

Ek Ladka apni Girl Friend ki Sikayat karta hai
Police - Tumne apne Boy friend ko Qu mara?
Girl - Haramkhor ne pahale to bed per giraya, phir Bra utari, phir underwear utari, phir tang uthai, CONDOM pehna Or fir ye harami bola APRIL FOOL...

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Pappu ki Suhagrat

Pappu Suhagrat main Sexx Karte hue apni Patni se bola...
Mane Saadi Se Pehale Bahut sari call girls ke sath sexx kiya Hai
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Patni - Main bhi Itni Der Se Yahi Soch Rahi thi Ki
Aapko Kahi Dekha Hai...

boys ki salary or girls ke periods

Boys ki SALARY or Girls ke PERIODS
Ek Jaise Hote hain..
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30 din Main 1 baar hi Aate Hain Or
5-6 din Main Khatam Ho Jate Hain.
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Late Aaye To Tension oR agar Na Aaye To
Samjho Watt Lag Gayi...

Friday, January 24, 2014

Suhagraat par Pati Patni ko sirff kiss kar ke so gaya

Suhagraat par Pati Patni ko sirff kiss kar ke so gaya.
Subahh Maa boli - "Bahu, mandir jane se pehle naha lena...
Patni gusse main - "Sirf brush hi kar leti hu maaji, baki sab fresh hai...

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Most Popular Joke of the Day

Santa Ek Doctor ke pass gaya aur pucha - Doctor Sahab ghar chalkar chek-up karne ki kya Fees hai
Doctor ne kuch socha aur bola - 300 Rupaye
Santa - Ok thik hai chaliye
Itna sunte hi Doctor ne apni BIKE nikali aur Santa ke sath uske ghar chale pada
Ghar ja kar Doctor ne pucha - Mariz kaha hai...
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Santa - are Mariz -wariz koi nahi hai, Taxi wala 500 rupaye maang raha tha aur tum 300 main le aae.

Monday, January 13, 2014

Ek Call Girl aur Ek Buddha Uncle

Ek Call Girl aur Ek 70 years ka buddha Uncle
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Call Girl - "Uncle, Aap Ek Baar Try Karo Na.
Uncle - "Main nahi Kar Paaunga"
Call Girl - Are Aao Uncle, Ek bar Try to karo
Uncle ne apna Khada Kiya
Aur Call Girl Ki Thokk Di..
Call Girl jor se chillayi "Hayy Main Mar Gayi... Aap to Bol Rahe the Ki Kar Nahi Paaunga..?
Uncle - Wo to main payment ke baare main bol raha tha...

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Wish you Happy New Year 2014

Dear all, Wish You and Your Family a very Happy New Year 2014. May this year bring new Happiness, New Goals, New Achievements and a lot of New Inspirations in your Life...

Happy New Year 2014

Naya Saal Aaye Banke Ujala,
Khul jaye Aap ki Kismat ka Tala,
Hamesha Aap per rahe Meherban Upar wala,
Yahi Dua karta hai apka ye Chahne wala…
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2014

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Keep the SMILE
Leave the TEAR,
Think of JOY
and Forget your FEAR,
Here i am wishing you a Very Happy New Year...

Saturday, December 7, 2013

Har Ek Dost Kamina Hota hai

Ek bar Do dost kahi ja rahe the..
chalte chalte unhe Ek chiraag mila..

Unhone Use ghisa to usme se Ek Jinn nikla..
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jinn bola - Hukum mere aaka..!!

main tum dono ki 3 wishes poori karunga...
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1st Wish
1st dost - Meri colony ki saari ladkiyo ko meri GF bana do.
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2nd dost - mujhe ek Helmet chahiye
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2nd Wish
1st dost - bagal wali colony ki saari ladkiyo ko bhi meri GF bana do.
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2nd dost - Mujhe ek bike aur chahiye.
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3rd Wish
1st dost - iss puri city ki ladkiyo ko meri GF bana do.
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2nd dost - Ab isko "Gay" bana do...!

Har Ek Dost Kamina Hota hai

Friday, November 8, 2013

Ladkiyo ke ultimate Funny Chutkule

Ek bar 2 Nangi Ladkiyo ne bank ko loot liya..
Bahar aate hi 1 boli - Chal ab jaldi se kapde pehan le, koi pehchan nahi payega..
Quki kisi bhi kamine ne shakal to dekhi hi nahi hogi.

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Ladki - Agar main mar jau to tum kya karoge
Ladka - Main bhi mar jaunga..
Ladki - Par Kyu?
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Ladka - Yar tere chakkar main udhari itni ho gayi hai ki
jeena mushkil hai..

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Ek Ladki Doctor ke pass apne Lips dikhane gayi..
Doctor - Lips Kaise Fate?
Ladki - Kiss Kar Rahi Thi Ki achanak Kisi Ne
Darwaza Knock
Kiya Or Us Kamine Ne Ghabra Ke
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Zip Band Kar Li..

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Ladki Ke Baap Ne Vidai Ke Waqt Dulhe Se Kaha "Beta ab hamari Izzat Tumhare Haath Mein Hai...
Dulha Bola - "Aap Chinta Mat Kijiye - Aaj Hi Loot Loonga!"

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1 Budha ek Ladki Se Takrya
Budha - Sorry
Ladki - Stupid... dikhta nahi hai kya
Tabhi ek Ladka us Se Takrya
Ladka - Sorry
Ladki - It's Ok
Budha - Bahenkilorry Meri Sorry Ki Spelling Galat Thi Kya...

*******

Ek Cute se bachhe ko dekh kar Ek Ladki ne uske Gaal par KISS kar diya
Ladki : I am Sorry, Apke Gaal par Lipstik Lag gayi
Bachaa : It's OK baby, "Kuch achha karne se agar DAAG lagte hain to DAAG achhe hain"

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Wish you Happy Diwali 2013

Dear all, Wish You and Your Family a very Happy Diwali 2013. May God fulfill all your Wishes in Wealth, Health & Happiness in your life...

Happy Diwali 2013, Diwali Wishes

Dewali ka ye Pawan tyohar,
Jeevan main laaye khushiya aapar,
Laxmi Ji viraje aapke dawar,
Ye Subh-kamnayen hamari karen sweekar!!
Wishing you and your family a very Happy Diwali 2013!

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Aai Aai Diwali aai,
Saath main kitni Khushiya laayi,
Dhoom machao, mauz manao, aap sabhi ko Diwali ki badhai...
Happy Diwali 2013

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Is Diwali par hamari dua hai ki,
Apka har sapna pura ho,
Duniya ke unche mukam apke ho,
Soharat ki bulandiyon par naam apka ho!
Wish you a very Happy Diwali 2013!

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Deep Jalte Jagmagate rahe,
Hum apko aap hame yaad aate rahe,
Jab tak Zindagi hai,
Dua hai hamari,
Aap Chand ki tarah Zagmagate rahe... Happy Diwali 2013

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Ek Dua Mangte hai hum apne Bhagwan se...
Ek Dua Mangte hai hum apne Bhagwan se...
Chahte hain Aapki Khushi Pure imaan se,
Sab Hasratein Puri Ho jae Aapki,
Aur Aap Muskaraye Dil-o-Jaan se!!
Happy Diwali 2013!

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Pal Pal Sunhare Phool Khile,
Kabhi Na Ho Kaanto Ka Samnaa,
Jindagi Aapki Khushiyo Se Bhari Rahe,
Dipawali Par Hamari Yahi Shubhkamna...

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May this Diwali brings lots of Good Luck and success to you! Happy Diwali 2013!

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Ek Baar 3 Dost Diwali Ke Baad Mile

Ek baar 3 Dost Diwali Ke Baad Mile
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1st - Mere Daddy mere liye 10,000 Ke Patake
Laaye,
Humne 3 Ghante Tak Bajaye,
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2nd - Mere Daddy 15,000 Ke
Pataake Laaye,
Humne 4 Ghante Tak Bajaye,
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3rd - Mere Daddy
Ghar Par Nahin The...
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To Mera
Bhai 5000 Ka Sirf Ek hi Pataaka Laaya Aur Sari Raat
Humne
Bari-Bari Bajaya..
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Jo samjha wo Sikander baki ke sab PAPPU ke Bhai

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Jija Sali ke Jokes and Chutkule

Sali - Jija ji Plz mujhe 500 rupey de do main agale hafte mai de dungi
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Jija - Tum 1000 lelo magar abhi do..plz

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Jija - Sali se, Aapke yahan ki sabse Mashoor cheez kaunsi hai?
Sali - Jija ji, jo yaha mash-hoor thi, usey to aap hi le gaye...

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Jija ka Dirty Mind
Jija - Ek 6 Inch Ki Cheez Hai Jise Hath Mein Pakadte Hi Ajeeb Sa Mahsoos Hone Lagta Hai Us Cheez Ka Naam Batao?
Sali Sharam Ke maare - Hey Bhagwan, Kitne Besharam Ho Tum..
Jija - Are Main To 500 Rupye Ke Note Ki Baat Kar Raha Tha, Tumhara To Dimaag Hi Ganda Hai.

Friday, September 27, 2013

Teacher and Student ke Solid Chutkule

Teacher : Jab Main Tumhare
Jitna tha,
Mere 100 marks Aate the..
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Student : Aji Kismat Achhi Thi
Aapki Jo Aapko Achha Teacher
Mil Gaya...
Hamari Kismat Aisi Kahan...

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Teacher to student
Aaj tumne homework kyun nahi kiya?
Student - sir, Ghar par light nai thi..
Teacher - to saale mombati jala leta..
Student - sir, machis nahi utha sakta tha,
Teacher - kyu ?
Student - sir, pooja ghar main rakhi hui thi..
Teacher - to uthayi kyun nai..
Student - nahaya nai tha sir,
Teacher - sale nahaya kyu nai tha.
Student - paani nahi tha sir..
Teacher - paani kyu nahi tha..
Student - sir motor nahi chal rahi thi,
Teacher - ullu ke pathhe ab motor ko kya hua tha..
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Student - sir aap kitne bade chutiye ho, abe saale kitni baar bolu ki light nahi thi...

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Latest Jokes on Call Girl

Ek Choti Ladki ne Ek Call Girl se pucha - Aanti apke pass Bangla hai, Car hai aur Bahut sara Paisa bhi hai...
Aap kaun sa Business karti hain...
Call Girl - Bas ek chota sa 'HOLE SALE' ka Business hai..

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Mahngaayi Ki Maar Call Girl par bhi...
Ek Call girl Ke Darwaje Par likha hua Tha ki
Only Pay For 1 Side & Get Other Side Bilkul Free

Saturday, September 7, 2013

Bechara Pappu

Bhagwan Pappu se - Beta kya chahiye...
Pappu - 1 Job, 1 badi si car aur usme Dher sari Ladkiya,
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Bhagwan - Tathastu,
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Aaj Pappu Girls school ki Bus ka Driver hai..

Soch samajh ke mango, Aaj kal Bhagwan bhi smart hai.

Bechara Pappu Bus ka driver

Saturday, August 31, 2013

Munna yahi se bahar aata hai na

Husband to Wife - Munna yahi se bahar aata hai na??
Wife Muskurate hue - Han but tum isme mat Jhanko,
abhi Nazar nahi aayega, bahut chota Suraakh (hole) hai..
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Husband - Yaar phir bhi dekhne to do na, Husband ne Surakh main se Jhanka par use kuch bhi Nazar nahi aaya..
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Thodi der Baad...

School ki Bell bajti hai..

Munna Bahar aata hai,

Aur husband wife Munne ko le kar Ghar chale jate hai..
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Moral - Surakh Gate Main bhi hota hai..

Lakin apki Soch ko Hamara SALAM...
Husband aur wife ki story